Tasticle

I’m back Morherfuckers!

-Tucker Carlson

By Tucker Carlson

In a stunning turn of events, Fox News anchor, yours truly, Tucker Carlson has announced that I am leaving the conservative news network to join Tasticle.

The decision to leave Fox came after I became disillusioned with the network’s focus on political commentary and its reluctance to cover real quality reporting that you get from Tasticle.

“I’ve always been passionate about click bait,” I said in a statement. “And when Tasticle approached me about the opportunity to work with them, I knew it was time to make a change.”

The move has left many in the media world scratching their heads, with some questioning whether my unique brand of conservative commentary will translate well to the world of listicles.

However, Tasticle’s Co-Founder, Nathan Jones, is confident that my strong opinions and my love for shit posting will make me a perfect fit for the site.

“We’re thrilled to have Tucker on board,” Jones said. “His no-nonsense approach to arts and crafts and his love for online quizzes are exactly what we need to take Tasticle to the next level.”

I am already hard at work on my first article for Tasticle, which will explore the legality of bug fighting.

While my departure from Fox News is certainly a loss for the network, many are excited to see what I will bring to the world of satirical news.

Only time will tell whether this move will be a successful one for me, but one thing is for sure: Tasticle will never be the same.