By Nathan Jones
In an unprecedented move the DOJ has decided to declassify the contents found on Hunter Biden’s infamous Laptop. Never before has America had an inside look at a sitting President’s Son’s desktop. Just why was his laptop password protected anyways? What was he hiding? Set to be released later this week Tasticle has obtained information found on the laptop early and in an effort to remain as transparent as possible we are releasing the information we obtained right here, right now.
10 things we found on Hunter Biden’s Laptop
1. Spider Solitaire.
2. Several Yippy searches asking what bit coin is.
3. A neglected WebKinz Classic account.
4. Alarming top secret information detailing the various locations of mines.
5. Warrior Cats Fanfiction wherein Hunter pontificates on the superiority of SkyClan for 735 pages.
“SkyClan can survive without it. I will never go groveling to Redstar to get us out of trouble, and we can’t go back on [Darkstar’s] decision to let them have that territory. It would be like challenging all our ancestors, as well as the warrior code. SkyClan will survive, without the help of ThunderClan. We are strong, skillful, and more honorable than any of the five Clans of the forest. Trust me, warriors. The Twolegs will not destroy our home.”
-Hunter Biden
6. An active Habbo hotel account last used two weeks ago.
7. Detailed renderings of the U.S. plumbing grid.
8. GameGenie codes for Porky Pig’s Haunted Holiday for the Super Nintendo.
9. An Unlicensed trial version of Windows Vista
10. McAfee virus scan
Tasticle 
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