Tasticle

By Nathan Jones

“I started playing as soon as it launched last night at midnight and just kept going. I wasn’t aware I had set a record.”

-Billy Mitchell

We have seen the news of recent speed runners completing the main story in about 90 minutes. This though, a record breaking marathon run of 1100 hours of nonstop play in one day is revolutionary.

Only one gamer could pull off such a feat in just one day. His name is Billy Mitchell.

Mitchell submitted a series of 138 VHS tapes containing his full 1100 hour gameplay of The Legend of Zelda Tears of the Kingdom to Twin Galaxies late this evening. It is still under review and will take some time to watch and make sure everything was done on the up and up following Twin Galaxies strict guidelines.

“It’s not unheard of entirely to get through over 1000 hours in 24 hours but we will just have to see what the tapes say and go from there,” Walter Day explains when questioned on his initial thoughts on the submission. “I just don’t have the information yet and cannot confirm nor deny this record just yet.”

Having a rather shady background in the video game records scene it’s best to take this submission with a huge grain of salt. Many are calling shenanigans as the game just released last night at midnight. Some may underestimate Billy’s potential when it comes to gaming.

*** This is satire ***