Tasticle

By Nathan Jones

Amid recent controversy over use of border buoys Greg Abbott Doubles Down in his face off with the Feds and builds a studio accurate replica of Double Dare’s Slopstacle Course along the Texas border.

Many are calling this inhumane and just another stunt at tax payers expense. Others agree that the addition of a giant nose that spews slime is a necessary precaution for Texas because the current administration has failed to do so.

“Over the last 100+ years not a single president has taken the initiative to install a single Sundae Slide at the border despite the thousands of calls to do so. That changes now.”

-Greg Abbott

Abbott pushes ahead installing a ball pit in the river even as the courts still determine the legality of this move. Scientist worry about the slime contaminating the river, Abbott assures it’s just pudding and apple sauce non toxic and still very effective.