Category: must read
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Inside Out 3 Will Introduce a New Character, Weltschmerz
By Nathan Jones Have you ever read the news and upon seeing so many negative headlines, you felt a sense of doom and sadness for the world? In Germany, they have a word for this feeling: Weltschmerz. Consisting of the words Welt (world) and Schmerz (pain), the feeling describes exactly that — a pain you feel for the state of the world.…
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Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce break up. For more details listen to new song dropping later this week.
By Nathan Jones Just a few days after relationship with Travis Kelce goes public Swift and Kelce are calling it off. When contacted for comment Swift’s publicist told our reporters that all will be revealed in upcoming single titled “Offside” scheduled to drop later in the week. Fans are already tossing theories around stating that…
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Sarah Sherman cancels her next few shows after Cartel threatens Peso Pluma
By Nathan Jones Out of an abundance of caution Sarah Sherman has canceled several upcoming live performances due to cartel threats directed at Peso Pluma. While not directly threatened Sherman does not want to take any risks of being mistaken for Peso Pluma.
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Greg Abbott builds studio accurate Slopstacle Course along Texas border
By Nathan Jones Amid recent controversy over use of border buoys Greg Abbott Doubles Down in his face off with the Feds and builds a studio accurate replica of Double Dare’s Slopstacle Course along the Texas border. Many are calling this inhumane and just another stunt at tax payers expense. Others agree that the addition…
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CMT pulls song by long time lynching advocate Jason Aldean after he ended a performance violently shitting his pants.
By Nathan Jones Some speculate foul play while others think it was just a huge publicity stunt when Aldean ended his set by projectile diarrhea shitting through his pants. CMT has strongly frowned upon his stance on lynching but after this assault on our senses they immediately pulled all of his music off of the…
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RFK Jr. claims he has never been vaccinated and feels fine
By Nathan Jones In another push against vaccines RFK Jr. doubles down on his stance against vaccines. Contradicting his stance that Covid was made as a bio weapon he backtracks his stance to Covid not being real. “I’ve never been vaccinated if you can believe it and I feel better than ever. Just listen to…
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Movie Theater promotes The Sound of Freedom with highly successful adoption drive
By Nathan Jones After the internet has been filled with reports of various theaters sabotaging the release of the film, “The Sound of Freedom,” one theater chain uses this opportunity for good. Many reports came rolling in this week claiming the temperature was too hot, some having the temps way too cold, some even having…
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MyPillow surplus industrial equipment sells for 79¢ on Temu.
By Nathan Jones One lucky resident, Jason Smith of Haskell, Texas just snagged the MyPillow surplus industrial equipment that went on sale online. While signing up for Temu the lucky shopper was spinning the wheel hoping for 100$ gift card when it suddenly landed on MyPillow surplus industrial equipment for 79¢. Happy to have won…
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Joe Biden breaks protocol; Gives King Charles Wet Willy
By Nathan Jones After racing King Charles to the palace yelling, “last one’s a rotten egg,” Joe Biden proceeded to grab the crown and flip it on to his head. Aggressively putting King Charles into headlock while giving him a noogie, Biden then slapped the King on the butt saying, “I’m just razzing you!” A…
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Jonah Hill homophobic after another ex reveals he wasn’t down to try butt stuff.
By Nathan Jones More shocking text messages revealed today about Jonah Hill just days after he was exposed as a person with the ability to civilly communicate their boundaries and standards. A different tinder date of his who would like to remain anonymous has come forward with text messages showing that Jonah Hill has some…