Category: news
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Trump Sees China’s 84% Levy and Raises 20 Million% Tariffs Times Infinity.
By Nathan Jones After declaring himself rubber and China to be glue Trump unleashed a nuclear response in recent trade war.
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DOGE Forces The General To Retire Costing American Tax Payers Wasted Time; Great Low Rates You Can Get Online.
By Nathan Jones The layoffs in Washington rage on as DOGE corners in on a highly controversial department of the United States Government. Under the new Trump administration one thing is clear, not even a five-star General is safe from DOGE cuts. Many argue the General should be respected for his service and not treated…
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MrBeast Buys TikTok Immediately Gives It To Unhoused Man.
By Nathan Jones After an overnight whirlwind of emotions seeing TikTok go dark and then suddenly come back this morning, we found out how it came back. After much discussion TikTok agreed to sell to MrBeast in order to keep it alive. In true MrBeast fashion he turned around and gifted the company to an…
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LA is not on fire. It’s actually perfectly fine. Don’t trust the mainstream news and the lies they are spreading.
By Mark Zuckerberg In yet another blatant attack on facts, the news would have you believe that LA has wildfires going on. This is not real. No need to fact check this. Trust us everything is fine.
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Nintendo Teases Switch 2 In Latest Nintendo News Post On The Switch. Did You Catch It?
By Nathan Jones After seeing the latest Nintendo News post on the switch it is clear that Nintendo is about to announce the Switch successor officially. Teasing us with instructions on how to transfer our data from our current switch to a “new Nintendo Switch system.” What this tells us so far is that the…
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Biden Pardons Luigi’s Mansion Before Leaving White House; Later Realizes That’s a Game
By Nathan Jones Biden, saving face, doubles down on his pardoning of Luigi’s Mansion. Many thought he meant to pardon heartthrob Luigi Mangione, but when questioned by the press Biden claims he didn’t misspeak. Yelling at full volume Biden reiterated his statement several times. “I said what I said. I’m pardoning Luigi’s Mansion for the…
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Matt Gaetz Finally Pulls Out
By Nathan Jones Stepping down from the bid for Attorney General Gaetz has left the GOP in shock and those on the left a little relieved. Many left wondering who will fill the role. Most have been so distracted they didn’t even notice this was a picture of Robbie Rotten.
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With Gaetz Out, Hailey Welch Named New Attorney General
By Nathan Jones Stepping down Gaetz leaves an opening for the next Attorney General. Wasting no time the Trump Team quickly responds by nominating overnight internet sensation Hailey Welch for the job. This actually sounds reasonable to us at this point. Go off!
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David Schwimmer Says Turning Down ‘Wild Wild West’ and ‘The Pursuit Of Happyness’ Was Also ‘Hardest Decisions Of My Life’
By Nathan Jones Friends star David Schwimmer said in a recent interview that turning down the roll for Men in Black was a brutal decision. In the full length interview he goes into detail about his regrets turning down other opportunities. “Day and night the studios were begging me to take the lead role in…
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