Category: news
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Nickelodeon’s ratings are sky high as people scour old shows to post mildly weird clips
By Nathan Jones After the recent tell all doc featuring Drake Bell and others involved in Nickelodeon shows has set the internet ablaze, it has also reignited views on Nickelodeon. Nick execs were once facing low views as their programming department has just been playing reruns of the big 3 SpongeBob, iCarly and Friends, not…
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Parents across Texas ask their kids how to set up a VPN for no particular reason
By Nathan Jones “Just wondering, no reason really. Buddy of mine was talking about VPNs and I wasn’t sure how to set it up. Thats all.” -Parents across Texas Assuming since they know how to fix the internet and reset the router maybe they know something about VPN’s.
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New Faith Based Adult Website Launches in Texas to Fill the Void
By Nathan Jones After a famous adult website leaves Texas, the void left in its wake is quickly filled by a new Faith Based Adult Website called Thorn Hub. Put together by former Christian Mingle staffers this app promises to get you closer to God with none of the sins.
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Greg Abbott at odds with Ken Paxton after Abbott’s meticulous masturbation session interrupted after PornHub Pulls Out of Texas
By Tucker Carlson Nearing completion Abbott’s handlers report he was thrown into a furious outrage when his very particular masturbation routine was interrupted. Ever since the accident he has a very rigid set of requirements that need to be met to reach climax. One of those requirements is a very specific trans incest preggo midget…
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Senate Grills Alexander Graham Bell During Testimony at Online Child Safety Hearing
By Nathan Jones After an intense grilling many tech CEOs of popular social media apps divert blame to the platform itself. The phone. Lindsay Graham delivered a brutal questioning of Alexander Graham Bell asking what he has done to limit the amount of prank calls he receives. “Shouldn’t you be allowed to be sued because…
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10 year-old Natthew Johnson first person ever to beat Super Mario World
By Nathan Jones 10 year old from Briny Breezes, Florida, Natthew Johnson, has become the first person ever to beat Super Mario World for Super Nintendo. After completing every level, including all of the Special World levels and even Bowser, Natt unlocked a special screen where the color scheme changes on the over-world and many…
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Everyone on the Naughty List for the first time ever. Santa takes the year off early.
By Nathan Jones “You know what you did.” -Santa
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Taylor Swift farts into mic for 13 minutes straight goes quintuple platinum
By Nathan Jones After reaching billionaire status Taylor Swift demonstrates that anything she does will sell. During a live performance Swift put the mic on her butt and let out an impressive 13 minute long fart. Many were impressed by the length of it, and it was no shocker that that song released as a…