Category: news
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After an extreme summer meteorologist say to expect an extreme fall
By Nathan Jones With leaf piles already breaking records many meteorologists are warning of extreme fall conditions unlike any we’ve seen before. Temperatures have already started to dip to extremely comfortable levels with no end in sight to the pleasantness. Some are reporting signs of bright orange leaves, pumpkins sprouting up everywhere, huge leaf piles,…
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MAGA grapples with their love of Neo Nazis and their hatred of brown people and Jews; begrudgingly shows support for Israel. Blames Biden for attacks.
By Nathan Jones In wake of Hamas attacks on Israel MAGA republicans are at a moral crossroads on who to support. Going with their gut they choose to support the whiter looking of the two. Tasticle and it’s writers dare not make sense of this whole situation and instead blame organized religion. It’s at the…
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White House staff speaks out after Commander Biden left off leash to attack staff
By Nathan Jones Joe Biden pressured by his staff to do something about the unruly Commander Biden. Biden suggests to stop showing fear. “Dogs can smell fear, you gotta show that you aren’t scared ya p$@&!” Joe Biden Biden insists commander is just a good boy and would never purposefully harm someone.
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Government set to close down; turning into luxury condos.
By Nathan Jones The nation watches in anticipation as the government scrambles to avoid closure. If no agreement is reached in time the government will be put up for sale and all parties will be ordered to vacate within 48 hours. Skytown Reality group has taken advantage of this closure and offered to purchase the…
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Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce break up. For more details listen to new song dropping later this week.
By Nathan Jones Just a few days after relationship with Travis Kelce goes public Swift and Kelce are calling it off. When contacted for comment Swift’s publicist told our reporters that all will be revealed in upcoming single titled “Offside” scheduled to drop later in the week. Fans are already tossing theories around stating that…
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Rapture happens as scheduled September 19th 2023, none were qualified all left behind
By Nathan Jones As we all know September 19th, 2023 is the big day. The day the rapture was scheduled to take all of the good Christians to heaven. Even if you believe it or not, it happened. If you are reading this however, you did not qualify and were left behind to suffer with…
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American Girl issues recall on a recent batch of dolls that may be haunted
By Nathan Jones After several reports of haunted American Girl dolls popped up over the weekend, official representatives claim they have narrowed down the cases to a specific batch of dolls created within the last two years. With two known haunted dolls in custody investigators were able to link the two dolls to the same…
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Sarah Sherman cancels her next few shows after Cartel threatens Peso Pluma
By Nathan Jones Out of an abundance of caution Sarah Sherman has canceled several upcoming live performances due to cartel threats directed at Peso Pluma. While not directly threatened Sherman does not want to take any risks of being mistaken for Peso Pluma.
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Ashton and Mila “apologized” but Kurtwood Smith stands by the letter he sent about Masterson
By Nathan Jones Kurtwood Smith who played Red Forman on that 70s show says he stands by his letter. No ChatGPT/Scientology apology needed. Tasticle has obtained a copy of the letter Smith sent to the judge about Danny Masterson.
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Trump says it’s too early to announce running mate; needs to know more about Ramaswamy’s head game and his whereabouts on 9-11.
By Tucker Carlson As the GOP scrambles to figure out who will be representing their party in 2024 many speculate the winner of the debate, Vivek Ramaswamy might be their best option. Most still aren’t sold on the idea of having someone that looks like him (a young person) in office representing people that look…