Category: Uncategorized
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Stanley introduces new one-million-gallon cup; still able to fit in your car’s cupholder.
By Nathan Jones Popular cup manufacturer introduces even larger cup. Able to keep cool drink cool for 3 1/2 years and hot drinks hot for 1 year the new and improved Stanley should be the last cup you ever need. Boasting an unimaginable one million, that’s right MILLION, gallon volume you should likely never have…
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After an extreme summer meteorologist say to expect an extreme fall
By Nathan Jones With leaf piles already breaking records many meteorologists are warning of extreme fall conditions unlike any we’ve seen before. Temperatures have already started to dip to extremely comfortable levels with no end in sight to the pleasantness. Some are reporting signs of bright orange leaves, pumpkins sprouting up everywhere, huge leaf piles,…
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Nation more surprised to find out The Drew Barrymore show ever had writers to begin with
By Nathan Jones Weird. We all thought she was just winging it. Didn’t realize this was all intentional. Not sure whose at fault here now.
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Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce break up. For more details listen to new song dropping later this week.
By Nathan Jones Just a few days after relationship with Travis Kelce goes public Swift and Kelce are calling it off. When contacted for comment Swift’s publicist told our reporters that all will be revealed in upcoming single titled “Offside” scheduled to drop later in the week. Fans are already tossing theories around stating that…
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American Girl issues recall on a recent batch of dolls that may be haunted
By Nathan Jones After several reports of haunted American Girl dolls popped up over the weekend, official representatives claim they have narrowed down the cases to a specific batch of dolls created within the last two years. With two known haunted dolls in custody investigators were able to link the two dolls to the same…
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Trump says it’s too early to announce running mate; needs to know more about Ramaswamy’s head game and his whereabouts on 9-11.
By Tucker Carlson As the GOP scrambles to figure out who will be representing their party in 2024 many speculate the winner of the debate, Vivek Ramaswamy might be their best option. Most still aren’t sold on the idea of having someone that looks like him (a young person) in office representing people that look…
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Mitch McConnell is rudely interrupted by breakdancing protestors
By Nathan Jones Seconds into his speech today a breakdancing circle formed on the house dance floor. Mitch was just about to give kudos when one brave woman got in the middle and started popping and locking for her life. McConnell was rendered speechless at her moves and completely lost his train of thought. What…
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Shou Chew Joins The Fight!
By Nathan Jones “I could wipe the floor with both of these mother ******* at the same time, no cap.” -Shou Chew In a recent TikTok Live stream Chew announced that he is dead serious about fighting both Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg at the same time. He went on to suggest they can fight…