Tag: news
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Tasticle Debate Coverage: Biden Is/Smells Toast
By Nathan Jones Starting off a little scary Biden comes out swinging putting on the ol’ Batman using his inside library voice routine. Frightening really. He came out throwing haymakers but was gassed by question 2. Former President and convicted felon Donald Trump was doing the expected lie routine kinda make it up as you…
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Hawk Tuah Girl’s Identity Finally Officially Revealed And She Isn’t Hailey Welch
By Nathan Jones After much speculation, cyber sleuths have done the unthinkable. The Hawk Tuah girl’s identity has been confirmed to be TV personality Al Roker.
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Adam McKay’s ‘Mama’s Family’ Starring Jon Heder Set To Take Summer Box Office Top Spot
By Nathan Jones In an unexpected announcement Adam McKay revealed his latest project along with some important names and dates. Mama’s Family the movie adaptation of the classic TV show of the same name will reunite Jon Heder, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly along with other familiar faces for a summer blockbuster sure to…
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Adobe Changes User Agreement Banning Alterations Of Unlicensed Images In Photoshop
By Nathan Jones Area man becomes first person to actually read the user agreement that we all just clicked agree to. In doing so he has passed on what he found. Among the things that caught his eye was the fact that you now have to give access to the images you create to Adobe.…
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Inside Out 3 Will Introduce a New Character, Weltschmerz
By Nathan Jones Have you ever read the news and upon seeing so many negative headlines, you felt a sense of doom and sadness for the world? In Germany, they have a word for this feeling: Weltschmerz. Consisting of the words Welt (world) and Schmerz (pain), the feeling describes exactly that — a pain you feel for the state of the world.…
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New Faith Based Adult Website Launches in Texas to Fill the Void
By Nathan Jones After a famous adult website leaves Texas, the void left in its wake is quickly filled by a new Faith Based Adult Website called Thorn Hub. Put together by former Christian Mingle staffers this app promises to get you closer to God with none of the sins.
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10 year-old Natthew Johnson first person ever to beat Super Mario World
By Nathan Jones 10 year old from Briny Breezes, Florida, Natthew Johnson, has become the first person ever to beat Super Mario World for Super Nintendo. After completing every level, including all of the Special World levels and even Bowser, Natt unlocked a special screen where the color scheme changes on the over-world and many…
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After an extreme summer meteorologist say to expect an extreme fall
By Nathan Jones With leaf piles already breaking records many meteorologists are warning of extreme fall conditions unlike any we’ve seen before. Temperatures have already started to dip to extremely comfortable levels with no end in sight to the pleasantness. Some are reporting signs of bright orange leaves, pumpkins sprouting up everywhere, huge leaf piles,…
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MAGA grapples with their love of Neo Nazis and their hatred of brown people and Jews; begrudgingly shows support for Israel. Blames Biden for attacks.
By Nathan Jones In wake of Hamas attacks on Israel MAGA republicans are at a moral crossroads on who to support. Going with their gut they choose to support the whiter looking of the two. Tasticle and it’s writers dare not make sense of this whole situation and instead blame organized religion. It’s at the…
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Government set to close down; turning into luxury condos.
By Nathan Jones The nation watches in anticipation as the government scrambles to avoid closure. If no agreement is reached in time the government will be put up for sale and all parties will be ordered to vacate within 48 hours. Skytown Reality group has taken advantage of this closure and offered to purchase the…