Tag: news
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Government set to close down; turning into luxury condos.
By Nathan Jones The nation watches in anticipation as the government scrambles to avoid closure. If no agreement is reached in time the government will be put up for sale and all parties will be ordered to vacate within 48 hours. Skytown Reality group has taken advantage of this closure and offered to purchase the…
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Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce break up. For more details listen to new song dropping later this week.
By Nathan Jones Just a few days after relationship with Travis Kelce goes public Swift and Kelce are calling it off. When contacted for comment Swift’s publicist told our reporters that all will be revealed in upcoming single titled “Offside” scheduled to drop later in the week. Fans are already tossing theories around stating that…
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Sarah Sherman cancels her next few shows after Cartel threatens Peso Pluma
By Nathan Jones Out of an abundance of caution Sarah Sherman has canceled several upcoming live performances due to cartel threats directed at Peso Pluma. While not directly threatened Sherman does not want to take any risks of being mistaken for Peso Pluma.
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Trump says it’s too early to announce running mate; needs to know more about Ramaswamy’s head game and his whereabouts on 9-11.
By Tucker Carlson As the GOP scrambles to figure out who will be representing their party in 2024 many speculate the winner of the debate, Vivek Ramaswamy might be their best option. Most still aren’t sold on the idea of having someone that looks like him (a young person) in office representing people that look…
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ERCOT runs extension cord from Oklahoma to ease grid demand
By Nathan Jones ERCOT tells Texans not to be concerned this summer as they have secured a deal with neighboring state. Oklahoma has graciously allowed ERCOT to plug into an extension cord they ran over Texas/Oklahoma border. ERCOT still suggests setting your thermostat to 100°F or completely turning off all of your power to help…
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Mitch McConnell is rudely interrupted by breakdancing protestors
By Nathan Jones Seconds into his speech today a breakdancing circle formed on the house dance floor. Mitch was just about to give kudos when one brave woman got in the middle and started popping and locking for her life. McConnell was rendered speechless at her moves and completely lost his train of thought. What…
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RFK Jr. claims he has never been vaccinated and feels fine
By Nathan Jones In another push against vaccines RFK Jr. doubles down on his stance against vaccines. Contradicting his stance that Covid was made as a bio weapon he backtracks his stance to Covid not being real. “I’ve never been vaccinated if you can believe it and I feel better than ever. Just listen to…
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New Duplication Glitch emerges hours after the recent update
By Nathan Jones First was the arrow glitch, then the shield hopping method. Then the glider. Forget about those here is the easiest way to duplicate any item faster than ever even after the recent patch. First you will need to have made it to every tower. When you have unlocked all parts of the…
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Schools to get rid of last day of school starting 2024.
By Nathan Jones “What are we supposed to learn on that final day anyways? We already took the standardized test.” -Groseph Branderson 3rd Grader Teachers and students will no longer have to come in on the last day of school starting in 2024. After many letters, phone calls, walkouts and protests advocates for getting rid…