Tag: Texas
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Greg Abbott at odds with Ken Paxton after Abbott’s meticulous masturbation session interrupted after PornHub Pulls Out of Texas
By Tucker Carlson Nearing completion Abbott’s handlers report he was thrown into a furious outrage when his very particular masturbation routine was interrupted. Ever since the accident he has a very rigid set of requirements that need to be met to reach climax. One of those requirements is a very specific trans incest preggo midget…
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ERCOT runs extension cord from Oklahoma to ease grid demand
By Nathan Jones ERCOT tells Texans not to be concerned this summer as they have secured a deal with neighboring state. Oklahoma has graciously allowed ERCOT to plug into an extension cord they ran over Texas/Oklahoma border. ERCOT still suggests setting your thermostat to 100°F or completely turning off all of your power to help…
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BREAKING: Reports True; Abbott is a Gun
By Nathan Jones What many have speculated has turned out to be true. Sitting Texas Gov. Greg Abbott has not so secretly been a gun this whole time. Many thought he was just beholden to the NRA, but his obsession with Gun rights is a little more personal. When asked to step down after the…
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